Friday, October 9, 2009

I'M BACK! WITH A NEW SITE!

Hello all,

I have decided to start VIDEO BLOGGING on youtube, so PLEASE come follow my page! I am very new at it, and hope to get better. please watch my videos, comment, rate, subscribe!!! and also feel free to leave me some suggestions of videos you would like to see me make!

YouTube.com/theonlyarielle

Friday, August 21, 2009

This is Goodbye.

This summer has shown me more than I would have liked to see.

Love. Heartbreak. Laughter. Fear. Trauma. Stupidity.
And of course many more. All woven within a couple short months.

To some, simplicity could seem like a bore. To myself, simplicity is a privilege not all of us obtain. It is, a state of mind. A sun rise. Knowing how to speak. How to walk. How to survive. Underestimated.

If everything were simple, excitement and passion would not play the role which is current. But nothing simple at all..what is anything but a rush?

I plan to move along in search of that simplicity I need. That state of mind which keeps me satisfied. I plan to focus on myself more, rather than constantly worry for each individual surrounding me. Even those I am not particularly fond of. I will take this time through struggle to understand where I plan to go, and how I plan to get there.
Find my destined path.

I will take this time to ponder what I feel I should obtain for my happiness.
When I find it, I will pray it stays with me. whatever, or whoever that could be.
I need to self reflect a few things.
Where I stand with certain people, as well as where I stand with myself.

I will get out more.
Break a sweat.
Occupy myself.

Perhaps keep a daily log. Fills with personal quotes, goals, new bits of information, et cetera.

I want a higher appreciation for hard work.
I want to notice small things which could seem meaningless on average.
Simplicity.


I almost wish I were the new kid in town.
Everyone and everything there is a whole new experience.
I suppose starting college will give me a sense of that reality again.
A fresh start.

Leaving just about everyone else behind in the dust.
On their own journey. As I roam mine.


So wish me luck in my time of self discovery. My adventure to find happiness within myself, as well as others. Find what I truly feel happy with in life.

I hope to make that special connection with someone again. Feel the magic. I hope to find a new group of friends whom except me for me.
To find simplicity.

Until then, this will be my last post.
My goodbye.
Until my solution has been found, if not for good.

Maybe my next blog will be in a more personal format.
Maybe there won't be a next one at all.

I know what makes me happy. Right now.
Let's see if I regret losing it over time.

What's meant to be will fall into place.

If I fall back to my old patterns, and my old loves..it is only kismet. If I know for sure what keeps me motivated, there is no way I would let it go with the hopes of finding an alternate way.

Love, happiness, joy, compassion..these are not simple objectives. but they should be.

I wonder if anyone out there feels the way I do, and hopes for the same result in the end..
Wouldn't that be astonishing.

Until I know what defines "me".. this is goodbye.

Whatever happens..happens.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Love, and it's definition through my eyes.

Someone can spend a life time pondering the hours away at the simple question, "what IS love?"
The answer can not be told through a small diary of a blog web site.
For those whom have experienced the true feeling, you might be wondering how something can give someone the greatest pleasure known to man kind, and the next minute you are blinded by the pure emotion of a break down. Something so powerful it has the chance to satisfy, and destroy, all at the same time.
Love can show someone their soul purpose in life. This is what it showed me. My purpose. Since a little girl I have told myself I will walk the edges of the earth looking for my true love. I knew once I found it, there would be no letting go.
The only thing is..I never expected to find such a love so soon in life. I mean sure I have felt it with more than one person, but isn't that how you know the next one is real? Through comparison of the earlier emotions, and the current? That might be part of how I knew I found it. But the rest? First sight.

Go on, call me ignorant and tell me there could be no such thing. But you're wrong. The moment our eyes met that day, I simply just knew. I couldn't possibly find an easier way to describe the feeling.
It's as if I believed in past lives, you were in mine. You were mine. It's as if I already knew you, and if I didn't talk to you that day, I would have missed out on my soul purpose in life.

To live and love.

Now I dare you to show me one love that has never encountered a problem. Without anything to overcome together, what will you ever have to look forwards to?
Fighting and disagreeing every so often is only healthy. Scientific fact.

Throughout my experience, I have had my share of arguments. I have taken breaks before, be it my choice at the time or not. But during the separations it has only brought my mind to realization. What is it? I realized that I don't need to be on my own in order to find myself. I don't need to, since I have already found myself in you.

After each hard time I have encountered, I have never felt happier than running back into the arms of the one I know I love, and I know loves me back. The overwhelming feeling of joy that brings me, only helps me know for sure that it is the true work of God. Being with you, I know that God is not only listening to all of my prayers, but he is responding as well.
Love is the last thing I could ever take lightly.

At this point, I would regret holding anything back, therefor I should spill each feeling inside me, shan't I?

After losing love once before, the second I was sure of this with you, I promised myself I could never give it up. I am certain I could never find another love like the one I am breathing this moment.

No matter what happens in the end, or right now, or tomorrow, or whenever, I will never give up or move on. I have found what I have vowed to search for, and I have found my purpose. That's you. I will be here each second of each minute. Each hour of each day, dreaming. Waiting. For you.
I can't say goodbye to this feeling. I can't lose myself.
I'm not ready to lose you, or my purpose. Nor will I ever be.

No matter where life will take you, know that I am by your side, and you are in my heart. If we make it or not, I will only be waiting for that day when we reunite.
Then again, how could there be a day in the future to reunite when we will not part? I will be here with you. As you, me.
I'm not giving up. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
I know where I belong. I know my place, and my reason being here. I found it, and I'm keeping it.

Sometimes I wish all English would flee my tongue, making me unable to attempt to tell you how much this all means to me. I just want to express myself. It's what I do. I don't want to be asked about it, or commented on. I just want to get it out. I don't even need anyone to understand me.
I only need you to understand me. I love you.
100%

This is true love and I could put anything on that promise.True love can conquer absolutely anything. Don't lose faith. Don't give up. I never will.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

China Glaze Craze

Hello all!

Recently I have been searching for new nail polish. I love to constantly have my nails painted, and I love to use fun colors and/or make neat patterns or designs.
But lately my colors have been dull since they all became goopy =[

Finally my search has come to an end with China Glaze. Here is the final result:

I love how shiny and bold the colors are.

To get this look: Start by applying the first coat, 'Sex in the City' 1.
Then apply a coat of 'Turned up Turquoise (Neon)' 2. Finally, take a tooth pick and dip into the final color, 'White on White' 3. make a small dot sequence along where your french tips would start, and tada! Now it's an underwater color scheme with a line of pearls! haha. Or something like it.

Enjoy!
xox, Air

Monday, June 22, 2009

I have been bitten..

That's right..
I, Arielle, have fallen under the girlie spell known as Twilight.

To my surprise, I have grown greatly attached to the story line.
At first, I was one of about two people of all my friends at school whom refused to read or even watch the nonsense. Until my mother forced me to watch the movie with her, haha.
Since it was better than I thought it would be, I decided to give the read a try as well. Even though I pretty much hate reading with a passion. Books, that is.


Once I finished the first book, *Twilight, I made up my mind that I should probably continue. The read was easy, and it held my attention. Having seen the movie before reading, it was easier to maintain an understanding of the characters, and their personalities.

Next up was the 2nd book titled, *New Moon. This book so far is probably my favorite since it was full of romance, and love triangles. Super dramatic, and kept me smiling, waiting to turn the page and hear what perfect romance was goin' down next, haha.

*Eclipse however, not my favorite. Probably my least favorite. still good though! There was just too much backtracking and putting puzzle pieces together. Of course it was needed, but I was too caught up with the present, that I didn't care as much to read about myths. But it had a really intense fight, and it will make for a great movie.

NOW! I am still reading the final book, *Breaking Dawn. Let me just say, this has been about everyone's favorite book, and I could easily see why! This movie will be epic to watch..although it might be rated R..maybe even higher.. haha. But it was not at all what I was expecting! I am a little bummed so far..but I have hardly 200 pages to go! I am very excited to read what will happen with all of the crazy-ness going on!


I strongly suggest you read this =]

Monday, June 15, 2009

Changeling.


It has been 10 long nights since my baby, my kitty, my Mr. Buttercups has been away from home.
Each night is getting harder without him meowing to lay under the covers with me, then meowing to get out, and back in, and his normal routine.
I never realized how hard it is to lose a cat.
"My cat ran away". I never would have thought this would be as hard as it is.

It's frustrating getting phone calls from strangers admitting they have witnessed my cat wandering, and have neglected calling [me] the owner, until the next day when he is no longer in that area anymore.

Is it really that hard to make the call when you SEE him?

the other day I was walking down the street and noticed a ruckus at the pet store across my street. I went over to see what the commotion was all about. They were holding an open adoption for cats and kittens in need of a good home. They had a tent set up where people could enter and play with the kittens in hopes of them being selected to take home. The only kittens up for adoption happened to be all male..and all black.
a familiar recognition.

As I sat there looking at the kittens climb up the netting of the tent, and attempt to meow with their squeaky vocals, I forced myself to hold one. Not one minute went by, and I set the kitty down and evacuated the tent.

It was far too hard for me to even contemplate another cat taking the place of my "baby".
I cried...hard, might I add, on the walk home.
I don't want another cat.
I just want MY cat.

I feel like A. Jolie in that movie Changeling, where she yells dramatically, "I want MY son back!!"

In a sense..that is how I feel.


Please, if anyone notices a black cat..just call me.
weather it's him or not, your call of concern is highly appreciated.

Thank you.

I'm still praying for you, Buttercups.
Until you come home..

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Yoga Diary pt. 2

So today is my second day of yoga training.
My old gym teacher Mr. Foster always made us work out our abs one day, then legs/arms the next. He continued this routine, and told me it is not smart to work the same muscles day by day.
So I decided to try to focus my yoga workout on my abdominal core today.
I worked to this pose shown below:



I overslept a couple of hours once I got home today from the senior luncheon. =|
I hate napping for more than 2 hours at all. I feel like my day has been wasted. Even though it wasn't bad today since school was technically out at 11:35 for seniors.
The luncheon unfortunately was LAME. it was too hectic in order to stand in line for 30 minutes in order to get ONE hot dog. Everything was out. Luckily I live almost next door to Lincoln Park so I was able to go home and eat.

Once I woke up from my too long of a nap, I decided to attend to my new yoga habits.
This lead me to realize that my muscles have contracted majorly while I was sleeping. Is this normal?? Feel free to let me know!
But I found myself to be more UNflexible than my first day!
I stretched for a while, then I moved up to the poses and held each for a 30 second time period. I continued this sequence for 3 reps of a 30 second statue.

It has been two days and each time I finish my workout, I am SO relaxed!

if you would like to start a yoga journey with me, or if you are an experienced yoga master looking for a workout buddy, give me a call!

=]

Monday, May 25, 2009

Yoga Diary. pt.1

So recently I have had a goal set in mind for myself.
This goal is for myself, and myself only.
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I want to feel confident with my body.
No person should feel like it is a crime to look at themselves in the mirror when naked.

So my goal for myself is to love myself Naked. 100% natural.
I feel like I need confidence in myself, and what better way to do that than loving my own body first.

The solution?
I am going to try yoga for the first time.
I mean, I have done a pose or two with my grandma before, but I want to try to commit to this. There is no better habit than bettering yourself. (hehe I like that quote, I just made it)



So this is my day one of yoga.
I want to start with at least a half an hour a day until I start adjusting to the feel of it.

I have just finished my first half hour. Since it is so early in the day, perhaps I will find time later on as well.
Today I worked on my legs With help from yogajournal.com

There are key areas I feel I need to work on in order to love my body.

If anyone finds this to be an interesting read, feel free to follow my blogs by entering your email after you click the "follow" button. Feel free to comment even if you are not a subscriber, if you'd like!
I would love some advice from anyone, or if anyone would like to join me in my yoga quest.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Fish Printing!

So it has been an awful long time since my last post.
Truth be told, I have been waiting on help from Ethan to get the correct song format so I can finally publish my France video onto blogspot. It's been done for quite some time.
But in the mean time! I quickly put together a video from yesterday in my Marine Science class as scool. Literally, this took me about 4 minutes. HAHA.

Enjoy =]
(the video is having trouble uploading..and I have to leave out of town in a minute. I will fix this later)


And here are the other final product paintings ^_^





Sunday, May 10, 2009

Counting down. and a few random side notes.

school is almost over! yippie!!
we have about 23? ish days left of our senior year! I can't wait to be finished with this so I can start off college and make my future =]

Lately I have been feeling pretty sick, and I'm not too sure why. I hope it's not the swine flu!!
But I've been really dizzy in cold sweats and my head has been throbbing, my body has been KILLING me with muscle pains, and my tummy has been feeling nausious. this is no good =[
Hopefully it's nothign to worry about though =]

I am at Ethan's house right now, and I have been waiting for him to get up and shower so I can start the day! Yesterday was loads of fun, even though he accidentally over slept and we couldn't make it to the aquarium. We went to the beach, ate pho, went to my school music cal, then took the bus to his house.
As we were sleeping last night, his arm kind of "freaked out" and he swung his asleep fist straight into my eye -_- I now have a small BLACK eye -_#
no fun. now it just looks like my purple eye shadows have been smudged everywhere!

hmm just a note, I really miss not having problems with anyone. there are a couple people who seem to really hate me, and i just wish i knew one of the people's reasoning, and i wish the other would just give up fighting. I hate fighting, and I have been ready to throw in the towel and be civilized for this one guy. I just want everyone to get along. No awkwardness. not a friendship, but no hatred, or anger, or rudeness. just..civil. I can if they can =]

well it's MOTHER'S DAY!!!
I hope everyone is really treating their moms right now!!
let me know what everyone did for their mom's today =]
I made my mom a coffee mug in ceramics and it looks mighty fine if you ask me! =D it's white and it was suppose to be a cheesy one that says number one mom..but the glaze would have ran and it wouldn't have looked very good =[
but at least she still liked it!!
We are going to a big family dinner tonight, so I hope that it's all fun!

I just notivved that my "I's" are randomly capitalized...oh wel, it's just a blog page. no grade for this =]

have a great day everyone!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

ma ma ma MAKEUP

So right now I am very excited because I just purchased something I have been needing for quite some time!

are you ready?
my new makeup pallet!!!

I have been waiting for ebay to have this for super cheap and I finally found one!
It was a bit more expensive than I thought because it is shipping from Australia..but it is still only $20 and I have that in my piggy bank =]

here is a picture!


That's right, 120 shades of matte and shimmer colors.
I am so excited!

Now I just need to figure out the exact look I want to try and achieve for my prom this year.
I can't wait to do my friends' makeup even more now!


So I am thinking as soon as school becomes a bit easier, I need to bust my butt to find a job. I need money!

If anyone knows of anywhere I could try? That would be so helpful. I'm thinking once summer hits I wouldn't mind busing throughout the week to the mall and maybe even work at Sephora or MAC. That would be WONDERFUL.
Or even Sanrio =]

Well I have a lot on my mind right now, and I don't feel like having everyone read about since my blogs are being posted on facebook for some reason..?
If anyone knows how I can control which blogs are posted on facebook please let me know!

Bisu!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

As I lay here..

I dream of France.
Since I have been home in Seattle, I realize I am not happy here.
Nothing has been right for me since I have returned, and I have only been thinking about leaving again.
Each song I listen to seems to bring my thoughts closer to my heart's true home. I hope and pray that someday I will be able to go back for school at least, or even one day live there.
I miss the people, the streets, the parcs, the smell, everything. However it would be better without the constant smoking.
The fashion, the language, the PDA.. I love it all.
The people there are genuinly better hearted than so many people I have come accross here.
Someone run away with me.
Someone take me home..

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

this one shouldn't get me into trouble.

So last night I had a rude message from someone about the original blog that was posted. I thought about keeping it up bc that is how I deal with my problems; by venting through written words. and what is the point of writing if you don't want anyone to see? Well whatever. Truths are out and I am moved on =]
So today in school I feel rushed and relieved at the same time. I turned in my senior paper, and a load of other homework that I had missed while I was in France. Now that I am getting caught up with everything, I am being more into learning new things. Such as different organisms of marine life! I have memorized a small little cheer about different subclasses and orders of the phylum Arthropods. here it is!
video
Don't laugh, it's hella cheesy! hahaha. and here is a video i took through a super nice microscope. You are able to see plankton we collected from the beach that is normally invisible to the naked eye but here you go! video
Isn't that GROSS?! we found that one inside of a jelly fish! Icky.
Spring is the time to strengthen relationships, right? Well let's sure hope so. That is all I will say on that! I'm sure a few of you could easily understand WHY.
At least other relationships are good. Friends. My friends have been so down to stick up for me, and it is just what I need right now =].
Especially this new girl who I have been talking to. I don't think I will add real names into my blog for a while until people calm down, so I will call this one..Ashley.? haha sure why not. Ashley used to hate me and we had never even met, but now that we have started talking, I realize that she is such a sweet girl. She even told me how down she is for her friends and she would do anything to stand up for them, then told me how she would do that for me, too. That meant so much with everything going on right now. I can't wait to hang out!
And another girl we will call...Rosie? haha yes. Rosie. I started talking to her online through facebook, and from the first message, I could tell she is such a genuine person! We talk all the time, and I totally trust telling her things that I know she won't tell, unlike other people who have said they wouldn't tell..haha. This girl is so sweet, and I finally got to meet her on the metro bus one last week when she was with a group of friends. She was even nicer in person. I have so much respect for people like that! She really understood I was just being a friendly person by starting conversation, and wasn't interested in getting dirt, or anything like that. Just a friendly person =]
I hope everyone has a fun weekend! I think I am planning to try and go to Gameworks with a couple friends of mine who were in SHOCK that I have never been! =D hopefully that will happen, and I might try something else fun this weekend. =]

OH! My boyfriend's birthday is coming up fairly soon, and I would LOVE ideas for his gift! I need to make sure I top every gift again =D

Monday, April 20, 2009

It's 4-20

this was a huge blog at first. But unfortunately some people were unhappy.
Here is a revision that you approve:

the end.


Bisu! (kiss kiss)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Final France update

well it sure has been a long time since my last blog about my stay in France.
Once I arrived in Paris, the only time spent on a computer was paid for through my wallet at the hostel, so I only had time for one chat session on g-mail, and a quick reply to a message.

Paris was overall, not as I hoped it would be. Only because I was always imagining it to be romantic, beautiful and somewhat devious as it is in each movie I watch where the characters reside in the moon lit city. This might only be because I was in a hostel, and did not have the chance to meet too many residents. And probably because every person spoke english, as well as french and some spansish or italian. However, the area I stayed in was the biggest "hot spot" in town, meaning there were sex shops, lingerie stores that spread for 3 blocks minimum, hippie like people, and not to mention the scene of the Moulin Rouge was right in my alley. I was in the bohemian neighborhood. The lack of the romantic setting only seemed to entice couples to publicly display their affection with each other in such a way that is only occurring behind closed doors where I come from. It was a rush.

From the moment we stepped foot off the train in Paris, we were immediately on an expedition to see the sights. We emptied our luggage in our rooms at the Hostel, and hopped on multiple subways to visit the world famous Rodin (pronounced ROH-DUH) museum. It was beautiful, but the only thing on display was MORE PDA. Each statue seemed to be having "alone time" with itself, or another statue! But it was still enjoyable. I had Schuyler snap a shot of me in front of the grass with the museum in the background:

Not long afterward, we were already on our way to see and experience the single most exciting thing of my life: The Eiffel Tower. The one thing I have always wanted to witness! I was so excited, but not looking forwards to walking up 700 stairs. The closer we got to the tower, the bigger and bigger it was getting. I always though it was maybe 2 or 3 space needles together..but I was far wrong. It was probably exactly...4 million space needles ;) I took video updates of me walking up the tower, and I will soon piece them all together to make a video of my trip involving music, videos, pictures, and possibly commentary!

The shopping was EXPENSIVE, but quite enjoyable. Of the days in Paris, we all went to the most famous museum in the entire world, the Louvre (pronounced LOOV), where the Mona Lisa is being held in captivity. I was pumped to finally see it, and pay close attention to the detail of the work, and create an opinion on if it is a man or woman, but there was a rope surrounding it from about 15 feet away, a bullet proof glass case, two body guards, and a tiny picture frame.. Not even my camera could get a good view of the most famous painting to go down in history. Still exciting though.

Ahh the Champs Elysees..Where millions of celebs have purchased their Aston Martins, Versace wear, and million dollar chocolate eggs. The 8 car-wide highway leading to the L'arc de Triumph. It was so exciting shopping along the most popular shopping lane in the world, but also exhausting since my pockets were emptied after one purchase. It was of course at a Sephora. This store was soooo enormous! Here is a picture =]

I wanted to have my makeup done and find new shadow shades of blue to match my scarf, so she used custom colors, and i decided to buy the look. She told me it was only going to be 50€, so I bought the custom pallet, and it turned out to be 100 bucks!!!! But I don't regret it. I wore it to school yesterday and I looked like a mermaid =] (my nickname growing up)

I will be posting so many picture shortly of the entire trip, so don't worry!

I also was able to go into the castle of Versailles! (VER-SIGH) This is where Maria Antoinette lived, and became infamously involved during the french revolution! I went through her bedroom and everything and saw the kind and queens very beds!
Tammie and I became super close on the trip =] We were getting left behind too often by Adrienne and Collrane, so we decided "whatevaaaa" and we roamed throughout the million acre garden! It was so beautiful, and we shared the most tasty sandwich ever! But I was really sad because I saw a bird choke on bread, fall over on it's side, struggle in pain, and slowly lower it's limbs to the ground, giving up =[ I was almost in tears.
I also was able to attend mass in the Notre Dame!!! It was so amazing, and the stain glass windows were breathtaking.

By far, the most beautiful thing I experienced in Paris, was the Eiffel Tower at night when it was lit up, and the light show was going on! Each night for a few hours only lasting 10 minutes at the top of each hour, there is a light show on the tower, and I would fly back to Paris just to witness it again, with a lover only to make the experience richer. Here is a video, but imagine being directly under it, and having all of the lights catch your eye like diamonds reflecting from a chandelier in a dark room. video

One of the funniest memories on the trip was during "fish day" which is April 1st. No one had played any jokes, and I could not take it any longer. When we were all on the subway, we had to rush to get off and make 22 people out of the doors before they closed and run out to see more sights. 3 people accidentally exit the wrong side, and there was no way we could make it bc the doors were closing. We had to wait for the other 3 to take the underground stairs and end up on our side, the correct side. Once they were gone, another train pulled up. I yelled that everyone should run through for fish day, and when they arrived on the right side, we would be on the other side, and tell them that they were still on the wrong side. EVERYONE RAN! it was hilarious!!! except they saw up, and showed up right where we were so it didn't work haha.

I will definitely miss getting sick of the gypsies, and getting fed up, and going up to them and being pushy begging TO them. hahaha. They got so mad that I was begging them for money, they started cussing at me in french! Everyone was laughing so hard!

This was definitely a trip to remember, and I only hope someday in my life I will be able to move to Nantes and feel at home.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

French update #8

I am soooo sad!
Tonight was so hard saying goodbye to everyone =( but I will get to tha at the end of this entry.
Which by the way, this is my last entry until I am home in Seattle, bc no internet in the Hostel =(

The day started with a slideshow of ugly snapshots of each person, and my only picture (solo) looked so gross! haha. It was not too big of a problem since I was given so many compliments on my eye makeup today =) I love doing eye makeup! I plan to buy new shadows in Paris! But after the slideshow, we all found out that we did not have plans for the day anymore, since the castle number 4 plan did not work out. Therefor, we were given a 6 hour shopping day!!!!! I know, it's hard to believe! So we decided to go to a new shopping mall as small groups. It was pretty nice, and I got an adorable white and cream argyle sweater, that is sooooo cute. But that is all I bought, since I am trying to save up for a little spending in Paris.
We started to get hungry, so we all sat down in a cute little pizzeria. It was definitely no Pagliacci, but it was authentic, so what can you say? =)
Besides, it was FREE!! I love when people like to buy me things! haha

Our group wandered around the mall for quite a while, before we decided to hop on a tram to one of the previous castles. On the tram, there are usually little kids who beg for money in their designer jeans.. so I decided that I was sick of people asking me for money. Once one of them walked up to me with his hands out, and put my arm up and started begging HIM for money. I put my open palm in his face, and he rolled his eyes and started getting mad in French. HAHA.

Enjoying the scenery, and in the spirit of Europe, we HAD to grab some gelato! Ceffé for me of course, and Adrienne has rasberry, Collrane had lemon, and Schuyler had mango, which was DELICIOUS by the way. As we were sitting down enjoying France, we noticed a small group of people speaking english, so we asked where they were coming from. We then found out they were pro actors, in France for a play that we were invited to! We got our pictures taken with hem, but later refused the offer to see the play, in order to enjoy a final dinner/ night with my host family.

Before going home, all of the students being hosted, and hosting had a tea party at the high school, which by the way I found out it was a catholic school, so now I can say I went to catholic school! haha. It was pretty fun, but too gross. The group I was xhatting with was making Emily and I do nothing but gag to the thoughts of the nasty tea talk..about puss and nastyness....gross. lol

But once we were home, I enjoyed my first official nap in Nantes. We have had so much family time, which was great, but I was soooo tired. After my half hour power nap, dinner was already on the table waiting to be eaten. Tonight was a fun dinner!
étienne snuck his camera to the table, and snapped pictures of us at our worst times! haha. It was so much fun being able to laugh so hard at the dinner table.
After dinner, Adrienne and I were packing; when all of the sudden érienne popps his head in the door, and drops a manila envelope onto my bed. When I opened it, I smiled SO BIG! He wrote a letter all in english! haha and it was so nice, and I will definitely keep it with other memorabilia from this trip. Also in the envelope, were pictures from the dinner table, and an apology for the poor camera quality! It was so cute!
So I grabbed my camera, and set it up on a timer, and took a few pictures with zaza and étienne =) I hated saying goodbye to zaza bc I will miss her soooo much, but at least she will be able to come visit me in seattle and stay for a couple weeks in October! =D But it was funnier trying to say goodye to étienne since he does not believe in giving hugs, and as americans, it is TRADITION to hug, so we waited for about 20 minutes until he finally gave in =)

I wrote each one of them a nice letter, and left pictures of me, my family, and the prom picture they adored for them to keep so they do not forget my lovely lil face. haha. Tomorrow will truely be a sad day, having to say bye to such a perfect family. =(
I really enjoy it here, and there isn't much about home in Seattle that I enjoy or really lis now. Obviously I miss a couple things.. =) but I can also honestly say I want to live here, and if there were a couple people with me, I would find no reason to ever go back.

Au Revoir Nantes! Now I will be off to aris, to stay in one of the biggest "hot spots" in the world! Not to mention, ONE BLOCK AWAY from the Moulin Rouge!!! Expect pictures for sure.
It was a pleasure blogging, and I will bring lotts of huggs and kisses when I return =)

xo.

Monday, March 30, 2009

France update #7

Ouchy! My feet hurt so bad!!! I am normally an expert walking in high helles, but not necissarily when it comes down to walking on cobblestones for the entire day!
Over today was quite pleasant. =)
Adrienne and I woke up with 20 minutes until we had to be out of the hosue or school, and meet up with our classmates, so we had enough time to eat, straighten our hair, brush our teefies, get dressed, and put our faces on. I bought some pretty shade of blue eye liner, hat makes m eyes pop on the bottom when I wear my liquid liner on the top and curve it out for an egyptian shape =) yeah, most girls know what I'm talking about!
Once everyone met up, we all went to the planitarium, and I had that stupid Mettalica (spelling? who cares) song stuck in my head. But only until I fell asleep. Sure it would have been a romantic setting and whatever, but only romantic with Adrienne when she wanted to hold my hand! haha. it was not too big and the chairs did not recline; only letting you see half of the sky. Lame. everyone feel alseep so fast. But the music with the stars was even more epic than the music to a Lord of the Rings movie preveiw, haha. Go look THAT up on YouTube..
Afterwards, it was time for lunch, so me, Adrienne, and Collrane headed back fast to go meet up with Natège and Margeaux; but we were a few minutes late by tram, and they were no where to be seen =( Hopefully we will be able to say be to them tomorrow!
Since lunch was a bust, we decided to stop on the way to the malls at a small sandwich place, and I ate a delicious baguette with ham, butter, and camambert chees. haha reminds me of that adorable little weird sex anime, Oruchuban Ebichu! hahahha. Go look THAT up too =)
During shopping, nothing too nice was catching my interest, which is RARE. see...I love shopping, and with money, I will buy anything. But I only noticed an adorable little teal cardigan, and a nice french leather jacket for super cheap on sale! So in the meantime, I am satistfied =). But we will see what is in "store" for us tomorrow ;)
After being able to head home for about 5 minutes, we quickly changed clothes, and headed out the door again; off to go meet the Mayor of France! We were invited to a cerimony full of fancy foods, wines, and speeches. Oh, and pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. There, I drank my first cup of wine in France! And it honestly got me thinking...you think of it like grape juice, and how cold and refreshing it is. But once you are swallowing it, it is warm with a kick, all the wy into your bladder. So what IS the point of chilling alcohol? It does not change the feeling it gives when it is going down at all, so what is the point? I think the Japanese beat me o this one, by serving HOT SAKE! I think they win. That was just a blurb though =)
After meeting the Mayor, Bénédicte picked up zaza, adrienne, étienne, and myself, and we went home to relaw before supper. I enjoyed my few minutes by playing Crash Bandicoot with Etienne, zaza helped cook as she was asked, and Adrienne laayed down bc she was feeling sick! oh no! But she is better =)
Dinner was AMAZING!!!!! We ate probably one of the best dishes I have ever had in my little life so far! It was delicious chicken in a jasmine rise dish smothered in a sort of yellow curry sauce. YUM. and for after dinner, I enjoyed fruit, nilla ish wafers, and a slice of that up your spirits cake that the girls bakes yesterday =)
I have already taken my shower, finished e-mailing by friends, and called my mom to tell her about my past couple days, and my nose ring. She was happy to know I peirced it; and now she wants to get a matching one =) I love my mom so much!
Oh but a bummer today, I went into my Betsey Johnson bag to grab something, and noticed it was QUITE moist.... LOVE SPELL: everyhwere. My lotion spilled, and it was another sign that I need to buy a new purse. Chocolate Milk, water bottle, and now Love Spell... I have bad luck with keeping purses. Still no luch finding a crocodile pattern bug bag in Taffany's blue =( I will probably cry if I do not find one at on on my vacation!
Well I hope all is well with everyone, and I hope AT&T will let me talk for free with Ethan! Bc I miss him sp much and I do not care at all how many times I have been saying that, it is so true. Its weird not being able to talk to him at all. I mean; I was only allowed to see him two days a week anyways, but this is such a hard thing for me. I hat the feeling of not having a romantic figure with you, you know? To me, love IS oxygen, and I need to breath. I don't like to breath every few weeks, I NEED to breath every day, and every minute. I pray everyone will know this feeling at least once in their lifetimes. I can't think of a greater emotion than Love.

Until tomrrow, which might be my last entry until my arrival in Seattle, due to no lap top at the Hotel...
Hugissies. I will spell that right from now on =)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

France update #6

All of this just got deleted!!!
I wrote sooooo much and I was adding "huggiessies" and for some reason it co,pletely went to another page and none of this was recovered!!! =(
So I doubt this will be as in detail =(. but if you want to know details about so,ething metioned, just reply to this in a comment and let me know which part interests you.

Here I go again:
Oh la la Oh la la!!
Today has been a huge custody battle for Adrienne to stay with us, and leave her host family for good! My family dpes not like her family bc of how they have been treating her. Once we woke up this morning; we went to the dining room to go eat breakfast with the sisters ZaZa and Margo, and we noticed they were on the phone with her family.. it turns out they called our teachers and told them about how the two of us got peircings, even though I am old enough (so it was not a big deal) but Adrienne is not, and her host mom called her actual mom for permission, signed the papers for her, took her to go do it, and even went into the room with her to get it done! And I do not think she mentioned that detail to the teachers.
Then she started calling my host mom a kidnapper! Even thought everyone okayed the siple idea for a sleepover!
My family was really not wanting her to stay there, so we fought for her to stay with us for good, but it was looking as a no. She had to go back later this evening, so me, adrienne and étienne decided to go downtown to see Slumdog Millionaire, and go see the official first day of the Carnival, which was like a big parade with floats and enough confette to fill every ocean in the world!
It was all fun and games until her host family showed up, and started yelling at her infront of me and étienne and said how she does not deserve to be in France, and she should go back to the states! She started crying, and étienne was nice enough to call Bénédicte and tell her so that things could be official and she could stay with us. And now she is!!!!
Soe we are still getting settled in.
Our food was so good today!! We had lamb, bread, pasta, chocolate mousse, and us girls baked a homemade chocolate cake to "lift our spirits!" haha.
So today, I was trying to charge my DS for the train, but it won't work so I need to buy a nez battery! =( Oh well, it will be nice to have two anyways. But once I kept trying and trying and trying to get it to work... It felt like my finger got stuck, my eyes were in the back of my head, and I was moaning in a scary way! The second I was free, Adrienne was laughing asking what the hell I was doing, and I walk out crying and laughing and told her I was just electricuded soooo bad!!!! my finger hurt for hours!! haha. I guess that isn't funny but oh well!
I have been getting better, healh wise, and I am still taking my meds =)

Adrienne just got into the shower, and once she is out, I will need to take one so I can shave all of my little fuzzies and wear my new dress tomorrow!! hehe
I am amso excited to wear the new outfirl I bought with ZaZa and her friend Marine. It is a layered short skirt, and a cute purple capree sweater thing from H&M! I love it hehe.

I also love my readers! I have been happy to know that there have been a few people checking up on my blog even thought they are not subscribers =)

Hopefully tonight Adrienne will want to catch up on reality tv with me!!! hahaha.

until tomorrow, when I am introduced to the mayor of France!! =)


Huggiessies!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

France update #5

Bonjour!!
Today has been amazing!!!
I woke up at my own pace and decided to get ready, and part my bangs a new "french" bangs. Once I was done eating breakfast with ZaZa (Isabelle), her older sister and brother came over once again.
I knew it was going to be a good day once Bénédicte arrived and we would go to the market, which was a lot like pike place in Seattle. She bought tons of lamb, veggies, fruits, chesse and bread, and it was so much fun to hang out and help her shop.
After the market, I decided to get dropped off downtown and use the map that Margo, zaza's sister drew me to get to studio 54 (the tattoo shop). I started to walk and get really excited. I had to meet Adrienne there at 1:30 for the meeting about tattoos and what not. I started to get lost, so I asked one of the street vendors for help.
Side note: there was a huge carnival downtown which is like a big street fair as we call it. so all of the shops were outside with people walking everywhere.
So I stopped at one with three Asian girls and one white boy, and the boy offered to walk with me to the shop so I accepted.
He spoke very little english so we mostmy stuck with french. He started asking me what I had planned for my evening, and I told him I might see a movie with my family, and have a friend stay the night.
Side note again: Adrienne was having a hard time with her family and mu host mom invited to have her stay the night and have a better time in France. It was then up to her host mom.
The man who was about 25 seemed bummed that I didn't^plan on going to a discotheque, but I said I kind of wanted dto with my friend. He was happy and decided to wait at the tattoo place with me for Adrienne even thought I said he didn't have to. She never showed up for about an hour and a half later. He had to leave and he kept looking at me like so,ething was going to happen.. then he gave me his phone number and offered to pick me up tonight and said when he gets drunk his english is better, and I would see it later tonight.. then I could get he was about to kiss me goodbye so I stuffed my pizza in my ,outh and he smiled like something was gonna happen tonight and guess who didn't get a phone call?! haha HIM. No one is getting any sort of somethin from me except my Ethan!
So the people at the tattoo place told me that the neck is the worst spot and it doesnt last so I decided I would wait to get my family tattoo at Admiral when I get to Seattle. So I went shopping by myself while waiting for Adrienne to get there, and I bought a cute knit half sweater in red that ties at the belly button, and the perfect hoodie for Ethan!!!! If he does not like it I knoz his roommate Danny will love it!!!! and it is not too baggy on me so maybe I will keep it? haha jk. Ethan BETTER like it!!!!! OR ELSE! but it has really thick stripes in white, DARK blue, ocean blue, and a lighter blueish grey! so i really think he will like it bc it will look perfect with jeans.
After shopping I was like...eff this.. So I went back to the shop ready to get a peircing instead bc I wanted so,ething that would not be 125€! And I saw Adrienne!!! She had just paid for her belly button ring!! And I decided to get my nose studded with a baby diamond and it looks très jolie!! (very pretty) I love it!
after wards, she went home to see if she could stay the night; and I met up with zaza after.
When I was xaiting for her, I was sitting in a big group of teenagers in the chairs, and their friends came up to meet them, and they went around and kissed their friends. I think they thought I was with them bc both boys knealed down, said salut, and then kissed my cheeks. I was like.. umm...okay? and everyone started laughing and I hear them say in french, "she isn't with us!!" and they felt dumb and I laughed haha.
Then shopping with zaza at the street shops, this asian boy about 19 ish noticed I am américaine and he yelled "I LOVE AMERICANS! MY NAME IS THAN? AND I THINK YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!" hahahaha I was laighing so hard. I love feeling so welcome here!

Later when I got home after shopping at H&M with zaza and her friend (bought the cutes outfit!!!) , I talked to the teachers, and the let Adrienne stay the night! My family was so nice to her at dinner! I hope she can stay the rest of the time with us!
Well, we are about to watch a movie on the laptop. And I need to attend to my e-mail =)

write back tomorrow about this time!!!

Huggiessies!!!! xo <3

Friday, March 27, 2009

France update #4

Relaxing: the key word of the day. No harm in that!
I decided to stay home from school, the museum, and the talonsac market. I slept in just a little bit, then Bénédicte (the host mom) took me to the doctor in Nantes. It was an intteresting experience. I sat in the waiting room looking through fashion magazines as usual when I noticed the French taste of fashion; nudity. And often, at that. I am still getting used to seeing vag on billboards!
Once being called into his office, he gave me a check up but it was comlicated at first bc here, they use much different instruments from Americans. In the end, he prescribed me not one, not two, but FOUR medecations! He assured me that by tomorrow morning, I should be fully healed. Let's wait and see!

I returned home alone; bc Bénédicte had to work. Well the maid was there, so not entierly alone. I stayed in bed, had a nice gmail chat with Ethan, made a white fish fillet, and rested some more.
Once I woke up, I decided it was about time for another Death Note dosage! I decided to watch the first live action movie. =)
Once that was finished, I was browsing sites and found out that there will be the unwritten 3rd movie out to theaters in America for two nights only! April 29th, and 30th!!!! Not to mention, there are only 400 theaters showing the film, and my top choice theater is showing both of them! I don't know about any of you, but I sure am going! This movie will be all about L, and his last 23 days of living.
Perhaps in a fez I will start the second movie.

Isabelle is off at a pizzaria with her class, and the parents are both working late tonight, so it doesn't look like there will be a big dinner. Maybe I will have a bowl of Special K red berries for dinner to feel at home =)
My home sickness has gone severely down since yesterday. I was able to talk to my loved ones though. I kind of think everyone at home is actually enjoying the alone time now. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I think the guys are happy to have some free time from hanging out. My dad probably likes having the house to himself, and I bet Ethan is taking advantage of this, not having to give up his two free days to see me. Men need their time, as we women need ours, am I right? =)

I talked to Bénédicte about a tattoo, and she was really on board!! =D she told me she might come with me tomorrow to check out the place and make sure they are steril! I really love the family I am staying with. Hopefully when I get home to Seattle; I could send a personalized thank you gift basket with things I've learned they love from America =)

Alors..I am going to get back to my french soap opera! hehe

Huggissies!!! xo

Thursday, March 26, 2009

France update #3

Today...not so great.
only bc I am sick beyond belief. My cold turned bad, and now I have a busted ear drum. My host mom decided to havz me stay home tomorrow instead of go to class and another museum. She is taking me to the doctor about my ear in the afternoon tomorrow, so I am looking forwards to it.
The weather started off like Seattle so I was happy, but there was so much wind that everyone was shivering until it hurt. It was not all too bad since we were able to sleep on a charter bus for three hours on our way to Mont St. Michel, a beautiful island inhibbited by a large cathedral where monks used to live. It was so beautiful. Très beau.
I was going to go shopping with Isabelle today, but she had a meeting with her teachers =( I hope to go to the mall soon! We might go with Adrienne and Axelle after we are done at the tattoo shop =)
homesickness has started to hit today. Late today. I have been away from home numerous times, so its easy for me to be gone without being to homesick. I think the fact that I AM sick makes me miss my loved ones taking care of me.
I miss foot rubs and watching movies with eachother to chere me up. =( I also regret that I am crying right now thinking about it. It really is all of the little things in life that make you loved, and really cherish your times with one another.
I miss my mom and her advice, and trying to convince her that leggins are pants.
I miss picking on Brent, and bugging him in the mornings. I miss Kenzie and watching her flip pages of her childrens books while watching Barney, or climb onto the furnature. I miss Dani and the long conversations we have about random things every singe morning. And I miss Ethan. I miss cuddling with him, laughing when I try to speak Japanese to him, getting pho with him, and even just talking. I havent been ablz to talk to him. only on weekends =( I miss home.
Ethan I am staying home tomorrow to get better. Please Email with me if you are home.

goodnight. I hope tomorrows entry is more cheery

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

France update #2

salut seattle!!! ..and san fran (^_^)
I am having such an amazing time here. I can here my english becoming weaker, and slower! haha
Las night was not the best.. I kept waking up due to my stuffy nose. It is impossible for me to sleep while breathing through my mouth. I HATE sleeping with my mout open! but anyways, today was my first day in class at Talonsac Lycee. Isabelle and I sat together, but it was a math class so nothing exciting happened.
Afterwards, I met up with the other Americans and we went to another castle. From the looks of the outside, everyone thought it was going to be better than the last...WRONG. the inside was so modernized, and even turned into a museum. No one was enthusiastic during our tour.
Nex we were given an hour to have lunch and meet back for the skate park. First, Asrienne, Collrane, and I got food (I just had a smoothie since I did not feel good) then I looked at a couple bag shops. I did not find any that were must haves though. My goal is to find a purse with a croc skin texture, color MUST be babyblueish turquoise AKA Tiffany's Blue which is my favorite color!!! Also matches my favorite skarf =) but i could not find one today. Then I hung out with Schuyler, Jose, and Tammy inside of shoe stores, and a place called jap town. haha. they had adorable little Hello Kitty stuff!

Once we all left the skatepark, everyone was able to ride on an ENORMOUS elephant!!!
well.....mechanical elephant. haha. I felt like I was in the movie Moulin Rouge, and all I needed was for a romantic guy to serenqde in the moonlit sky with me..man I miss Ethan!

The worst part of my day was coming home, and the 3 hours it took me. I had to get home alone for the first time today, and normally you are suppose to take a bus and a train, but it is not hard to walk. Silly me wanted to walk as I always do, and I got terribly lost. Thank goodness for my host brother, étienne, who was worried enough to venture out on his bike and find me!!

Diner was one of my favorites tonight. It was a traditional dish in the ame family as Rocklette, one of my favorites. Everyone should try it!!!
well I need to take a shower, and phone my mother, then sleep for a big adventure tomorrow!!

hugissies<3 (huggs and kisses...I made that up emailing Ethan today..)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

France Update #1

today was amazing!
first, our group met at le lycee (the high school) and we all went ice skating!! it was the first time i have been that i can remember. i am really not worrying about grammer due to this scrambled keyboard!!
ice skating was so fun and i was able to spin and go backwards! Mark and i tried to help Adrienne by going in a train..but she ended up wide legged sprawled on the ice, then CRAWLED off of the ice! luckily we havz a video hehe. every video and image will be up a few days after we all get home.

after ice skating, we went to a sort of meeting with french teens/young adults, where Adrienne, Tammy and I met two super nice girls about 20 ans (years). one of them works in a tattoo shop and said she will hook us up this saturday!!! i am so excited! we all also exchanged facebooks and emails so hopefully we can go to a discothèque (night club) this weekend. their names were Margo, and Nataje :)

bad news..i think all of the américains are getting sick ! bad! my throat hurts and we hav all been getting shakes and chills. hopefully it will pass fast.
i exchanged pictures of ,y famil with my french family today, and they were in awe over my prom picture of Ethan and I. so cute!

oh how could i forget!!!??? we went to a full on CASTLE today!! inside for a tour and all! they have had in in there family for 1000 generations PLUS! pure royalty. they also became wealthier after inventing the LU brand buiscuts AKA cookies in every store today. famous for those rectangle, rigged edge with the chocolate on it in the shape of a french man! super popular and delicious! The owner said she rents out half of the castle to anyone for special occasions if they make an arangment for 2,000€ a day! so i decided that Ethan and i are starting a wedding fund bc we are getting married at the castle HEHE. donate if you are sweet lol.

well although it is still sunny in seattle, it is past my bedtime here.
goodnight!!
i will do update number 2 tomorroz!

Monday, March 23, 2009

When In France!

Alright well it has been ' days living in Nantes, France! The travel took about TWO DAYS to get here, and I have been tired up until now. Sorry if I make any typing errors, bc they keyboard is soooo much different! haha.
the house I am staying in is so nice. 3 sorites, super fancy furnature, park as a backyard, country clubs, and horses!!
I was given the entire downstaires with everything I need. The family is so nice, and they love Americans! hehe yaya!
However.. I am still adjusting to the meals here. there are 4 meals, each with about 4 courses! The food is AMAZING but I keep filling up on the first two courses lol.
I am excited to go shopping soon! I found out there is not a good place to get a tattoo, so I probably wont risk getting one in a bad shop.
today I went to the school for the first time, and everyone was staring hardcore! Adrienne, Collrane, Tammy and I sat in the middle of so many students and thought it was funny how awkward it was. The four of us instqntly cliqued on this trip. I LOVE it. But they served cous cous, which I founf out I do not like -_-
Over the weekend, Isabelle invited ,e to two parties but I was so tired that I decided to stay home and watch Tom Yum Goong in French zith her brother étienne.
so far this trip has been amazing and I will blog any chance I get!

xo

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

bon voyage BS!

BS as in blogspot, not BS. well..perhaps goodbye bs too ;)
within just a few hours, I will be boarding a plane to France! Not only am I scared out of my mind! But I am also happy beyond words could express.
I am nervous that the family I will be living with does not speak hardly any English. Although I speak French..it's nice to be able to rely on your native tongue every now and then. And also, what if they aren't very nice? Or our personalities just don't click? Hopefully everything will work out wonderfully, and I will have so much fun with this experience.
Not to mention, the shopping is the one thing that will not leave my mind! I wanted to pack light so I could buy a lot to bring back...but packing light, my bag is STUFFED! What is a girl to do?!. i think I need to re-think my travel wardrobe.. don't you?
I will miss my friends, family, and lover, dearly..they will be on my mind throughout the whole time being gone. But I know once I get home, it will have been worth the wait to see them again.
When I get back, I am excited to go on a double date! Not with who I thought... but with two other people who actually WANT to double date =] It should be better.
In recent news, my friend has returned for a few days from boot camp, before he is stationed in Japan with the Marines. He told me they are paying him 1,500$ monthly, and he was unable to spend any of it. So he treated me to a shopping spree! =D We went to Southcenter Mall, and I bought quite a few items, but my favorite thing that he bought for me is my brand new SET of makeup brushes from Sephora! 60$ brushes and he was more than happy to buy them! AHG I am so happy.
I am hoping that there will be enough room in my luggage to fit gifts for my closest friends! I really want to get Ethan a nice hoodie. And I really want to get Dani something nice too, but I am not sure what. So Dani, if you are reading this, please e-mail me an idea! But I think I have a pretty good idea. I won't say bc it would be really sentimental, and I want it to be a surprise. I only want to get my self a tattoo, and a purse. probably jewelry too though.
The tattoo I hope to get will be on the side of my neck (on my pulse) and it will mean "follow your heart" in french. Literally translated as "listen to your heart", but context wouldn't be correct if you write "follow". (here is what it would look like...) "écoutez votre cœur"
I am really hoping that everyone is doing well! Keep me updated by BS or e-mail at any time! =]
that's all for now.

ps: help me think of a closing slogan to use! something good though...not weird. haha

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fed Up

well well Blogspot..this is my final venting sesh on someone who deserves nothing. At this point, I don't care whatsoever what people might say about me. Call it pathetic, but I call it PISSED. Enjoy. Maybe sometime soon I will find a new bestfriend and forget about you for good. Someone who actually enjoys the good time, like when we were all kids. Best time of my life, if you ask me.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A little some-m some-m

Well it has been quite some time since my last post on Blogspot.
Unfortunately, I have no followers who look forwards to reading something new.
I am not too disappointed, considering none of my friends have an account on this site. Hopefully someone will stumble across my postings and choose to KIP with me =]
I officially have 11, almost 10 days until I am leaving to attend high school in FRANCE. Not only am I thrilled beyond believe, because it is my DREAM city, and I speak the language, but I am also frightened of feeling alone. What if the people I am staying with do not like me? What if I get too homesick? I understand it will be hard leaving behind the people I love for a short period of time, but part of me feels a bit better about leaving, since someone dear to my heart is not hessitant at all about leaving for an entire summer. And I thought 3 weeks would be hard enough! But MONTHS? I'm puzzled how easy it is for them to want to be gone for so long.. but then again, this is typical. For I am only a girl. A sensitive girl, at that. Part of me does not want to think about anyone I will be leaving behind when I am gone, only to make me feel better, knowing that some day in the partial near future, they will not be thinking of what is left behind in such a city feeling empty and un-like home.
Maybe someday, I will find a home in France.. it seems as if all of my closest friends live hundreds of miles away from me anyways, so maybe I would enjoy life more if I were surrounded by people who could get closer to me. I don't know why it has been so hard for me to keep friendships here in Seattle. I know I am a good friend. I care more than most feel is possible. Hell, I even care so much about the people I should want to hurt. It is so hard for me to actually be mean. Sure, it is easy when something is bothering me, but when something is actually said to someone by me, I feel a tremendous overwhelming feel of guilt.
For once I wish someone who shares interest with me would come out and tell me they think I am a good person, and would want to hang out sometime, and actually follow through with it. I just want to shop, and try different makeup looks and have dorky photo shoots together while laughing hard at a movie and driving around on pointless adventures. I don't want to live a boring life. I want more than one person to turn too. I need a friend. A real, genuine friend. How do I find one? I lost the only one I had to someone who they can drink their problems away with. That's not me. I have tried myspace, but the nice people either never reveal themselves to anyone, or live oh so far.
On a better note, I fell in love with a "note"; Death Note. From episode one, I am hooked. ahh..the suspense eats at you ferociously, and you can not help but let it. sure, it's in one of the most annoying languages known to my ears..Japanese..and you have to read it..but it is soooooo good, I can not stop paying close attention. I'm eating it, drinking it all in..and I love the taste. I encourage everyone to begin watching this series!
And my fingernails are starting to grow back! I plan to keep them untouched until I leave for France, so they will be long and healthy. Then I will probably make a new patter for them. Nail polish is a simple passion of mine. I currently have cheetah print nails! Hopefully soon I will get to go pick out new colors..NEON colors. I love my nails to stand out. My next paint job will be to make them match my new LOVELY jacket!! [picture up soonish?] I bought it at H&M and it has so many bright colorful plaid-ish squares.
Well, until next time..possible tomorrow. Hopefully some followers soon?
Au Revoir

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day









and here is the card he wrote me. =] (enter in a new tab/window, then click for a large full view)
http://s5.tinypic.com/wtvkuq.jpg


I hope everyone had an amazing valentine's day!
XO.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Reply. Let's make it public.

Well weather I had a bad experience or not, I think it's stupid. That's not why I'm "different" than you. But yeah, I think ti's stupid, that doesn't mean I was ever mad at you for it. at alllll. all of my friends are into that pretty much and I don't care at all. If I were mad at friends if they would drink on their own time, I would be mad at just about everyone. I like being the one to look after my friends when they are drunk. I think people should be happier to know they have a friend who won't drink their booze, and they WILL look after them. I was only mad at you bc it's such a stab in the back to know how you were the first friend I ever had/V.V, and we would always call each other BFFs.."NUMBER ONE BESTIE FOR LIFE YO" as you put in my phone, and always number one no matter what. And NOW you have someone ELSE to say that to. isn't number one suppose to mean number one? If I was so down with drinking like your new friends are would we still be "besties". it effing SUCKS seeing how fast and easily you have a new best friend and chose her over me, and would stick up for her and RUIN the first friend you ever had to stand up for this new chick. I have tried to hear your side, but nothing will change how s*itty this feels. you think I don't miss how things were?! It's pretty much all I think about; how i don't have a best friend. simple.

weight watchers?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Friends..or the lack of..


But for the friends I do have, I love you all so much. Nicole, you are seriously so amazing, and it's so weird how we became friends bc my boyfriend was cheating on me with a million of your friends! haha. Every time I go to the VAG tree, I think of you. Well..and Steven I guess bc he TORCHED our names into it LOL. But I love you, and we need more hockey!
Andie, also you were best friends with the girlfriend after me! hahahaha. coincidence? Well I eally haven't met anyone as down to earth as you are. I am so happy we are friends. We relate in so many ways.
Dani, we HATED eachother for EVERRRR. That just goes to show that no matter your rtelationship with someone, you will always be growing and [hopefully] becoming more mature, as did WE. And I'm really happy we were able to grow into such good friends. I feel better from talking to you. Even if what you tell me won't help the situation, it's really nice having you to talk to.
HAlly?! teehee. Do you know how good it feels to have a friend who is in love with TWO men, like I am?! ahem, BOYFRIENDS and CHRIST. Like..it relaly feels good to have a friend with such a positive influence on me, and I'm glad it's you. =] Just SEEING you smile can cheer me up. I don't think anyone has a smile like you on this planet. Every emotion shines through when you laugh and it cheers me up seeing someone I care about being so happy.
A to the RIENNE!! My little RENNY!!! I can not even tell you how fun it is to be around you. I get so pissed off when people call you a bitch or whatever bc they don't know you at all. You are so crazy and fun! I love dancing around in your car and singing to Cascada! Adrienne..everytime WE touch..is amazing. ;D haha. France will be so great with you.

I love you guys.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Hello There

So..I gave in.
Trust me, I did NOT want to make another blog spot account.
Truth is, I have an amazing journal/diary..BUT i never remember to pull it off of my cubby. I am online way more often. Also, I had originally planned to create my very own website thanks to a friend of mine who has about a bazillion personal websites. This website I was going to make would be a personally diary for myself, and others could view it, as well as write comments to it, AND the videos I would post. I also wanted to have a live streaming video where I could give advice to the anonymous comments people might leave. To my misfortune, I do not feel like paying $10 a year towards a website. [No, I'm not Jewish, but I do like my money]
Some of my close friends understand why I was so hesitant to make a blogspot. If you are the least bit curious, I will gladly let you know! I have absolutely nothing to hide.
My upcoming blogs will be about my personal life, opinions, and sticky situations. And probably random videos.
Hopefully I will have a video to show from Valentine's day which is THIS SATURDAY!

Well, I have chores to attend, and homework to complete.
Stay tuned and follow my blog if you would like! =]

Au Revoir!