Love, and it's definition through my eyes.

Someone can spend a life time pondering the hours away at the simple question, "what IS love?"
The answer can not be told through a small diary of a blog web site.
For those whom have experienced the true feeling, you might be wondering how something can give someone the greatest pleasure known to man kind, and the next minute you are blinded by the pure emotion of a break down. Something so powerful it has the chance to satisfy, and destroy, all at the same time.
Love can show someone their soul purpose in life. This is what it showed me. My purpose. Since a little girl I have told myself I will walk the edges of the earth looking for my true love. I knew once I found it, there would be no letting go.
The only thing is..I never expected to find such a love so soon in life. I mean sure I have felt it with more than one person, but isn't that how you know the next one is real? Through comparison of the earlier emotions, and the current? That might be part of how I knew I found it. But the rest? First sight.

Go on, call me ignorant and tell me there could be no such thing. But you're wrong. The moment our eyes met that day, I simply just knew. I couldn't possibly find an easier way to describe the feeling.
It's as if I believed in past lives, you were in mine. You were mine. It's as if I already knew you, and if I didn't talk to you that day, I would have missed out on my soul purpose in life.

To live and love.

Now I dare you to show me one love that has never encountered a problem. Without anything to overcome together, what will you ever have to look forwards to?
Fighting and disagreeing every so often is only healthy. Scientific fact.

Throughout my experience, I have had my share of arguments. I have taken breaks before, be it my choice at the time or not. But during the separations it has only brought my mind to realization. What is it? I realized that I don't need to be on my own in order to find myself. I don't need to, since I have already found myself in you.

After each hard time I have encountered, I have never felt happier than running back into the arms of the one I know I love, and I know loves me back. The overwhelming feeling of joy that brings me, only helps me know for sure that it is the true work of God. Being with you, I know that God is not only listening to all of my prayers, but he is responding as well.
Love is the last thing I could ever take lightly.

At this point, I would regret holding anything back, therefor I should spill each feeling inside me, shan't I?

After losing love once before, the second I was sure of this with you, I promised myself I could never give it up. I am certain I could never find another love like the one I am breathing this moment.

No matter what happens in the end, or right now, or tomorrow, or whenever, I will never give up or move on. I have found what I have vowed to search for, and I have found my purpose. That's you. I will be here each second of each minute. Each hour of each day, dreaming. Waiting. For you.
I can't say goodbye to this feeling. I can't lose myself.
I'm not ready to lose you, or my purpose. Nor will I ever be.

No matter where life will take you, know that I am by your side, and you are in my heart. If we make it or not, I will only be waiting for that day when we reunite.
Then again, how could there be a day in the future to reunite when we will not part? I will be here with you. As you, me.
I'm not giving up. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
I know where I belong. I know my place, and my reason being here. I found it, and I'm keeping it.

Sometimes I wish all English would flee my tongue, making me unable to attempt to tell you how much this all means to me. I just want to express myself. It's what I do. I don't want to be asked about it, or commented on. I just want to get it out. I don't even need anyone to understand me.
I only need you to understand me. I love you.
100%

This is true love and I could put anything on that promise.True love can conquer absolutely anything. Don't lose faith. Don't give up. I never will.

Counting down. and a few random side notes.

school is almost over! yippie!!
we have about 23? ish days left of our senior year! I can't wait to be finished with this so I can start off college and make my future =]

Lately I have been feeling pretty sick, and I'm not too sure why. I hope it's not the swine flu!!
But I've been really dizzy in cold sweats and my head has been throbbing, my body has been KILLING me with muscle pains, and my tummy has been feeling nausious. this is no good =[
Hopefully it's nothign to worry about though =]

I am at Ethan's house right now, and I have been waiting for him to get up and shower so I can start the day! Yesterday was loads of fun, even though he accidentally over slept and we couldn't make it to the aquarium. We went to the beach, ate pho, went to my school music cal, then took the bus to his house.
As we were sleeping last night, his arm kind of "freaked out" and he swung his asleep fist straight into my eye -_- I now have a small BLACK eye -_#
no fun. now it just looks like my purple eye shadows have been smudged everywhere!

hmm just a note, I really miss not having problems with anyone. there are a couple people who seem to really hate me, and i just wish i knew one of the people's reasoning, and i wish the other would just give up fighting. I hate fighting, and I have been ready to throw in the towel and be civilized for this one guy. I just want everyone to get along. No awkwardness. not a friendship, but no hatred, or anger, or rudeness. just..civil. I can if they can =]

well it's MOTHER'S DAY!!!
I hope everyone is really treating their moms right now!!
let me know what everyone did for their mom's today =]
I made my mom a coffee mug in ceramics and it looks mighty fine if you ask me! =D it's white and it was suppose to be a cheesy one that says number one mom..but the glaze would have ran and it wouldn't have looked very good =[
but at least she still liked it!!
We are going to a big family dinner tonight, so I hope that it's all fun!

I just notivved that my "I's" are randomly capitalized...oh wel, it's just a blog page. no grade for this =]

have a great day everyone!!

this one shouldn't get me into trouble.

So last night I had a rude message from someone about the original blog that was posted. I thought about keeping it up bc that is how I deal with my problems; by venting through written words. and what is the point of writing if you don't want anyone to see? Well whatever. Truths are out and I am moved on =]
So today in school I feel rushed and relieved at the same time. I turned in my senior paper, and a load of other homework that I had missed while I was in France. Now that I am getting caught up with everything, I am being more into learning new things. Such as different organisms of marine life! I have memorized a small little cheer about different subclasses and orders of the phylum Arthropods. here it is!

Don't laugh, it's hella cheesy! hahaha. and here is a video i took through a super nice microscope. You are able to see plankton we collected from the beach that is normally invisible to the naked eye but here you go!
Isn't that GROSS?! we found that one inside of a jelly fish! Icky.
Spring is the time to strengthen relationships, right? Well let's sure hope so. That is all I will say on that! I'm sure a few of you could easily understand WHY.
At least other relationships are good. Friends. My friends have been so down to stick up for me, and it is just what I need right now =].
Especially this new girl who I have been talking to. I don't think I will add real names into my blog for a while until people calm down, so I will call this one..Ashley.? haha sure why not. Ashley used to hate me and we had never even met, but now that we have started talking, I realize that she is such a sweet girl. She even told me how down she is for her friends and she would do anything to stand up for them, then told me how she would do that for me, too. That meant so much with everything going on right now. I can't wait to hang out!
And another girl we will call...Rosie? haha yes. Rosie. I started talking to her online through facebook, and from the first message, I could tell she is such a genuine person! We talk all the time, and I totally trust telling her things that I know she won't tell, unlike other people who have said they wouldn't tell..haha. This girl is so sweet, and I finally got to meet her on the metro bus one last week when she was with a group of friends. She was even nicer in person. I have so much respect for people like that! She really understood I was just being a friendly person by starting conversation, and wasn't interested in getting dirt, or anything like that. Just a friendly person =]
I hope everyone has a fun weekend! I think I am planning to try and go to Gameworks with a couple friends of mine who were in SHOCK that I have never been! =D hopefully that will happen, and I might try something else fun this weekend. =]

OH! My boyfriend's birthday is coming up fairly soon, and I would LOVE ideas for his gift! I need to make sure I top every gift again =D

It's 4-20

this was a huge blog at first. But unfortunately some people were unhappy.
Here is a revision that you approve:

the end.


Bisu! (kiss kiss)

France update #7

Ouchy! My feet hurt so bad!!! I am normally an expert walking in high helles, but not necissarily when it comes down to walking on cobblestones for the entire day!
Over today was quite pleasant. =)
Adrienne and I woke up with 20 minutes until we had to be out of the hosue or school, and meet up with our classmates, so we had enough time to eat, straighten our hair, brush our teefies, get dressed, and put our faces on. I bought some pretty shade of blue eye liner, hat makes m eyes pop on the bottom when I wear my liquid liner on the top and curve it out for an egyptian shape =) yeah, most girls know what I'm talking about!
Once everyone met up, we all went to the planitarium, and I had that stupid Mettalica (spelling? who cares) song stuck in my head. But only until I fell asleep. Sure it would have been a romantic setting and whatever, but only romantic with Adrienne when she wanted to hold my hand! haha. it was not too big and the chairs did not recline; only letting you see half of the sky. Lame. everyone feel alseep so fast. But the music with the stars was even more epic than the music to a Lord of the Rings movie preveiw, haha. Go look THAT up on YouTube..
Afterwards, it was time for lunch, so me, Adrienne, and Collrane headed back fast to go meet up with Natège and Margeaux; but we were a few minutes late by tram, and they were no where to be seen =( Hopefully we will be able to say be to them tomorrow!
Since lunch was a bust, we decided to stop on the way to the malls at a small sandwich place, and I ate a delicious baguette with ham, butter, and camambert chees. haha reminds me of that adorable little weird sex anime, Oruchuban Ebichu! hahahha. Go look THAT up too =)
During shopping, nothing too nice was catching my interest, which is RARE. see...I love shopping, and with money, I will buy anything. But I only noticed an adorable little teal cardigan, and a nice french leather jacket for super cheap on sale! So in the meantime, I am satistfied =). But we will see what is in "store" for us tomorrow ;)
After being able to head home for about 5 minutes, we quickly changed clothes, and headed out the door again; off to go meet the Mayor of France! We were invited to a cerimony full of fancy foods, wines, and speeches. Oh, and pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. There, I drank my first cup of wine in France! And it honestly got me thinking...you think of it like grape juice, and how cold and refreshing it is. But once you are swallowing it, it is warm with a kick, all the wy into your bladder. So what IS the point of chilling alcohol? It does not change the feeling it gives when it is going down at all, so what is the point? I think the Japanese beat me o this one, by serving HOT SAKE! I think they win. That was just a blurb though =)
After meeting the Mayor, Bénédicte picked up zaza, adrienne, étienne, and myself, and we went home to relaw before supper. I enjoyed my few minutes by playing Crash Bandicoot with Etienne, zaza helped cook as she was asked, and Adrienne laayed down bc she was feeling sick! oh no! But she is better =)
Dinner was AMAZING!!!!! We ate probably one of the best dishes I have ever had in my little life so far! It was delicious chicken in a jasmine rise dish smothered in a sort of yellow curry sauce. YUM. and for after dinner, I enjoyed fruit, nilla ish wafers, and a slice of that up your spirits cake that the girls bakes yesterday =)
I have already taken my shower, finished e-mailing by friends, and called my mom to tell her about my past couple days, and my nose ring. She was happy to know I peirced it; and now she wants to get a matching one =) I love my mom so much!
Oh but a bummer today, I went into my Betsey Johnson bag to grab something, and noticed it was QUITE moist.... LOVE SPELL: everyhwere. My lotion spilled, and it was another sign that I need to buy a new purse. Chocolate Milk, water bottle, and now Love Spell... I have bad luck with keeping purses. Still no luch finding a crocodile pattern bug bag in Taffany's blue =( I will probably cry if I do not find one at on on my vacation!
Well I hope all is well with everyone, and I hope AT&T will let me talk for free with Ethan! Bc I miss him sp much and I do not care at all how many times I have been saying that, it is so true. Its weird not being able to talk to him at all. I mean; I was only allowed to see him two days a week anyways, but this is such a hard thing for me. I hat the feeling of not having a romantic figure with you, you know? To me, love IS oxygen, and I need to breath. I don't like to breath every few weeks, I NEED to breath every day, and every minute. I pray everyone will know this feeling at least once in their lifetimes. I can't think of a greater emotion than Love.

Until tomrrow, which might be my last entry until my arrival in Seattle, due to no lap top at the Hotel...
Hugissies. I will spell that right from now on =)

Happy Valentine's Day

and here is the card he wrote me. =] (enter in a new tab/window, then click for a large full view)
http://s5.tinypic.com/wtvkuq.jpg


I hope everyone had an amazing valentine's day!
XO.