A little some-m some-m

Well it has been quite some time since my last post on Blogspot.
Unfortunately, I have no followers who look forwards to reading something new.
I am not too disappointed, considering none of my friends have an account on this site. Hopefully someone will stumble across my postings and choose to KIP with me =]
I officially have 11, almost 10 days until I am leaving to attend high school in FRANCE. Not only am I thrilled beyond believe, because it is my DREAM city, and I speak the language, but I am also frightened of feeling alone. What if the people I am staying with do not like me? What if I get too homesick? I understand it will be hard leaving behind the people I love for a short period of time, but part of me feels a bit better about leaving, since someone dear to my heart is not hessitant at all about leaving for an entire summer. And I thought 3 weeks would be hard enough! But MONTHS? I'm puzzled how easy it is for them to want to be gone for so long.. but then again, this is typical. For I am only a girl. A sensitive girl, at that. Part of me does not want to think about anyone I will be leaving behind when I am gone, only to make me feel better, knowing that some day in the partial near future, they will not be thinking of what is left behind in such a city feeling empty and un-like home.
Maybe someday, I will find a home in France.. it seems as if all of my closest friends live hundreds of miles away from me anyways, so maybe I would enjoy life more if I were surrounded by people who could get closer to me. I don't know why it has been so hard for me to keep friendships here in Seattle. I know I am a good friend. I care more than most feel is possible. Hell, I even care so much about the people I should want to hurt. It is so hard for me to actually be mean. Sure, it is easy when something is bothering me, but when something is actually said to someone by me, I feel a tremendous overwhelming feel of guilt.
For once I wish someone who shares interest with me would come out and tell me they think I am a good person, and would want to hang out sometime, and actually follow through with it. I just want to shop, and try different makeup looks and have dorky photo shoots together while laughing hard at a movie and driving around on pointless adventures. I don't want to live a boring life. I want more than one person to turn too. I need a friend. A real, genuine friend. How do I find one? I lost the only one I had to someone who they can drink their problems away with. That's not me. I have tried myspace, but the nice people either never reveal themselves to anyone, or live oh so far.
On a better note, I fell in love with a "note"; Death Note. From episode one, I am hooked. ahh..the suspense eats at you ferociously, and you can not help but let it. sure, it's in one of the most annoying languages known to my ears..Japanese..and you have to read it..but it is soooooo good, I can not stop paying close attention. I'm eating it, drinking it all in..and I love the taste. I encourage everyone to begin watching this series!
And my fingernails are starting to grow back! I plan to keep them untouched until I leave for France, so they will be long and healthy. Then I will probably make a new patter for them. Nail polish is a simple passion of mine. I currently have cheetah print nails! Hopefully soon I will get to go pick out new colors..NEON colors. I love my nails to stand out. My next paint job will be to make them match my new LOVELY jacket!! [picture up soonish?] I bought it at H&M and it has so many bright colorful plaid-ish squares.
Well, until next time..possible tomorrow. Hopefully some followers soon?
Au Revoir